Fitting It All in & Living to Complain About It

Some women are super mom, super wife, a so-called super career woman, and a super feminist, etc, etc.

And then there are the rest of us.

You know what? I could ‘fit-it-all-in’ if I really tried. I really could.

But not really, because no one does.

When I hear of the zillion things some women are doing in addition to working and raising four kids, I wonder how they do it. People will boast working 100 hours per week between their job and side businesses and how they do it via time management and not being lazy. But then the truth slowly leaks out if you pay attention. They admit their home is a disaster. Their kids haven’t had a home cooked meal in years. They never have a side business last more than a couple years, probably due to burnout even if other reasons are listed.

Every time I figure out the oh-so-busy super woman of successful perfection is really a liar driving herself crazy with stress, I get a little angry.
Not at her specifically, but at the fact that we are pressured to do it all plus more, and then lie about it when we don’t manage to make two full time jobs, child rearing, home management, and everything else come together. We all get just 24 hours each day. Many of us are trying to cram far more into those hours than what is possible. But we can never admit to it. I have yet to meet anyone who can pull it off, even the ones who think they are doing it.

And then the other end of the spectrum can get pretty annoying as well. The people who never stop complaining about not having time to do anything. They often follow the mention of any benign activity with “nobody has time for that!”. These people, despite having the exact same 24 hours per day the rest of us have, some how have so much less time. They have no time to prepare food, clean, care for their kids, pay attention to their husbands, make lunches, walk the dog, workout, read a book, redo their resumes, or anything else. I can’t help but notice those who complain the most about their lack of time often have far fewer responsibilities than the average person. Apparently an above average amount of leisure time is a giant time-suck. Those duck face selfies don’t upload themselves to Facebook after all.

Which is why I try to not complain about time. I can be crazy busy if I want to, or I can make the choice to slow down. Choosing to take on less than I can handle is better for my family, and better for me. It means I do a better job at what projects I do take on. It also makes me a better mom, wife, worker, and person overall.

So my house can be pretty messy, but I do choose to cook healthful meals most nights. Cutting back on working hours has hurt my business, but it gave me a small amount of serenity back. Sometimes I need to park my kids in front of the TV so I can reply to client emails, or schedule appointments, or mop the floors. It is OK, because I can admit there are NOT enough hours in a day to do it all and be perfect. I would like to think I will do it when they are in school some day, but let’s face it, the rest of the years will be the catch up period. I hear this catch up period ends about half way through our golden years.

I guess my meandering point is this:

To those who truly are too busy due to taking on so much that your life is a mess, please take a step back. Your future self will thank you. Trying to do the impossible and fudging the facts when you turn out to be human does us all a disservice.
And to those who have no time for anything outside of TV, Facebook, and complaining. Well, I am not sure I have anything to say other than please quit your whining and perhaps invest in a stopwatch. Oh, and stop acting like the rest of us somehow pull extra hours from a magical alternate dimension in our butts. I get it, I do. I am lazy too. But I do try to mostly keep my mouth shut about it. Mostly.

None of us can really fit it ALL in. At least not all at the same time. We just need to pick and choose what is most important to accomplish for each of us individually. Do let’s quit the complaining and the snarking. That woman seems more accomplished than you? So what? Don’t get defensive. You chose how to spend your time. For all you know, she is miserable and envious of your ability to prioritize relaxation. Don’t be so defensive about your fake lack of time.

And hey you. Yes you, the one with two flailing side businesses and no downtime. Please stop looking down on those who value dinner and clean baseboards. You don’t have better time management, just different priorities. That’s OK. Really.

Do you ever get sick of listening to constant complaints from your peers?