No, I don’t actually think these things make for a bad mother. But a whole heck of a lot of other people think they make me one.
1) My almost two year old gets a bottle before bed every night. I am terrible for this. It could hurt her teeth. It is a bad habit. She should be having a real cup, or breastfeeding, or anything else.
2) The bottle is a cheap piece of crap. We used to only have glass bottles. But then the kids would chuck them across the room and the impact of the glass hitting the wood floors caused the nipple rings to crack. After they were all broken, I picked up plastic bottles. But not good ones. I did no research and read no packaging. They are the cheapest, lowest quality bottles I’ve ever seen. They were cheaper than the ones at the dollar store. They might even have BPA. (Actually I just checked and they don’t.) But the point is, I never checked first.
3) We fill them with milk. Not breast milk. Not specially harvested lama milk. Not organically raised goat milk. Just plain whole milk, as in cows milk, from a plastic jug in the fridge. Sometimes it is organic. Sometimes not. It depends on what store we were near when we remembered we need milk.
These three heinous crimes of mine are all because I am desperate for my daughter to stop with the whining and screaming. Plenty of other moms will tisk me and simply say I am not being firm enough, or I am not tough enough. Others will say I am too tough. The truth is, after four years of sleep deprivation with no time to myself, I simply don’t care and see no problem with giving my daughter a bottle of milk when she cries for one. There is no amount of scheduling or structure that will soothe her when she is upset. I get resentful when people with no experience with my child, lecture me about what to do. My girl is the opposite of her older brother. She is the melancholic toddler who needs a lot of snuggles and encouragement. She is the picky eater. She is incredibly sensitive.
My little girl is not ready to have her comfort bottle taken away, and I am not ready to deal with the hurricane of screaming and emotions. Call me lazy. Call me overly indulgent, Call me a bad mom. But do me a favor. Say it under your breath or in your head. Heck, say it on your own website if you like. Just please stop shoving it in my face. Because much like most other parents out there dealing with tears and exhaustion (their own), I am doing the best I can right now.
Have your own bad parent frustration? Please share.
My daughter is about to turn two years old and is plenty smart enough to potty train, but I haven’t even started because I have an almost six month old and I am still in survival mode in having two kids under two! Also my house is NEVER clean and I cook the same six meals (if I cook at all) over and over again. I know I should keep my house cleaner and I know I should care what people see when they come over, but my 6 month old still doesnt sleep more than two hours at a time so I am exhausted and Iddon’t care!
Been there! It was survival mode that first year with my second child, Having them close in age can be very rewarding, but very difficult. It can be so hard too when people not there don’t get it. Stay strong and you will get to the easier stage soon!
Heck, if she drinks milk before bed every night for the rest of her life, there are much much worse things she could do.
Very true! I should use that as a comeback. Haha.