The places we are going are so much better than the places we have been, but I no longer mind having been to them. A little hardship really is good for us all. And with each success, it becomes easier to see that truth.
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You see, I thought it was a tummy bug going around, but then it didn’t go away when everyone else was all better. And I guess it was a little tummy bug. Just a different kind.
I feel like I have been sitting on this secret forever, but I guess it has not really been that long. We will have a new baby coming in August! Yup! I am 13 weeks along and just had an ultrasound this week to confirm things are moving along OK. This is already the weirdest pregnancy I have ever had, and by weird I mean ridiculously normal. Beyond the New Normal. It was not a medicated cycle, and I was only loosely paying attention to my charts, so until this week’s scan, I did not know when we exactly conceived or how far along I was. Just like normal people.
I had a couple weeks of bleeding, but it has stopped and only starts back up if I do any physical activity beyond a slow walk. I admit I find that perplexing. There are women out there who can run half marathons while eight months pregnant, but I bleed if I barely move during every single pregnancy. Oh well. Since this is my fourth pregnancy since 2009, (one loss) and I have big babies, I am already starting to pooch out a bit. My short waist and lack of abs are already giving up the good fight. Although, I am not nearly as puffy as with my daughter. That pregnancy was from another world. I am now nearly finished with the dreaded Prometrium, and will soon only be on Metformin and prescription vitamin D for this time around.
Due to some mild depression and a heck of a lot of general life on my plate, I have been busy enough to not really suffer the stuck-in-my-head-syndrome this time around. Which is good. Great even. However, it got me thinking about how far we have come in just a few short years. Browsing through older posts is entertaining, disheartening, gratefulness making (yeah, yeah, I know), and even a bit nostalgia inducing, even though it was not all that happy sometimes.
- Why Now and Not Then?
- So Much Time, Not Enough Obsession
- Never Far Away
- Definitely Not over It
- Don’t Let the Door Hit Your @ss On the Way Out
- Sittin’ On A Secret
- Not Pregnant Anymore
- This Barren Depolarized
- Ignorance Really Is Bliss
- Distracted
- Half Way There
- It Will Never Last….
- Strong Words
- The New Normal
- Was It Only Two Years Ago?
- NIAW Infertility Myth Blog Challenge
- And Just When I Thought My Life Couldn’t Be Any Fuller…..
I find the evolution of my ‘baby’ and pregnancy posts interesting. You can really see an emotional change documented here that makes me feel rather strange. I can remember that woman, I remember being her, but when I step back and think about her, it is difficult to believe I was her.
And I am her.
I don’t know. I feel like I have finally shaken off the last hold long term infertility had on me.
I am free.
Having three kids under four will not exactly be easy, and I am working on a plan for figuring out how to keep my business together when it happens, but it feels nice. It feels nice to have problems of a celebratory nature that are of my own making. That other life is gone now, but not forgotten. I will always be a crazy cat lady at heart.
Congratulations, what a lovely surprise!
Thank you!