Do your toddlers and babies eat with the adults, or do you make them a separate dinner?
Now, I firmly believe kids should be required to eat whatever I am making for dinner, but at what age do I enforce this?
Right now, our life is simply not conducive to a formal family dinner. As soon as my husband walks in the door, I take off running to the gym. He feeds the toddlers whatever he sees fit while I am gone since it is dinner time. As soon as I get home, husband then runs upstairs to engage in one of his activities and I pick up where he left off with the kids. So, I juggle the remainder of bath time while prepping the adult dinner. I check in with husband on what the kids ate and drank to make sure they are full enough to sleep before night time diapers and story time. By the time everyone is down, it is well after 7 PM, sometimes 8 PM, and I finish making dinner. Hop in the shower, dish up dinner, and finally settle in the living room with husband.
So, we basically never eat dinner as a family. It should be noted that our unfurnished house has no dining table so we do have a structural obstacle to family dinner. Some day, when I have the money, the table will come. Second, in order to eat with the kids, I would have to skip the gym. Working out is what keeps this woman sane and dinnertime is the only time my husband is home while the gym is actually open.
Are these excuses? Maybe. If I found a giant bag of money for a table, more highchairs, and a home gym, I would be all over that. However, let’s be honest, my gm time is the only time I leave the house. I kind of need it.
To be clear, our kids eat whatever dinner they are offered. If they don’t want it, too bad. They have gone to bed a bit hungry plenty of times for rejecting their supper. I don’t make extra meals to be supplicating. We don’t bend to this schedule to cater to the kids. We do it because it is the only way for everyone to get their needs met. Unfortunately, it is at the expense of what some people would consider a very important family activity. I completely agree with them, but I also feel like it will be more important down the road. I honestly don’t think the organized chaos of supper in the JAC household is necessarily bad at this age. Once the kids are in school and I have a few hours during the day to be flexible, things will be completely different.
I admit I feel a bit selfish and a bit like a failure. It seems to me that the multiple toddlers phase of life is more about surviving, and we get to the thriving part around age five or six.
Do you have multiple small children close in age? Do you find you have to sacrifice certain parenting ideals to stay sane?
I’m in the same shoes you are. We rarely eat dinner as a family. My husband gets home around 9:45-10:00 PM most nights, but our daughter’s in bed at least two hours before that. I find it’s easier to give her leftovers from the previous night than give her that night’s meal at dinner time. I think every family needs to decide what works for them and ignore the criticism when it comes.