The Mommy Wars are nothing new. I have been active in online forums for eight years and counting, and anywhere women gather there is drama and judgement. There is a certain flair for the dramatic in women’s forums that appears to be missing in Men’s or mixed sex online communities. Perhaps because women are so passionate about our beliefs and our kids. Recently Life With Levi shared a nifty little graphic by Granola Babies showing several moms with their babies stating lifestyle choices. The photo included a tag line on the bottom about being great moms regardless of parenting choices. Great message right? Well, things spiraled out of control on Facebook as they often do, and the vitriol flowed generously. The positive thing that DID come out of it all is The Crappy Mom meme.
I actually debated on even writing this post on how I too, am a crappy mom, because doing so meant taking even more time away from my kids and making me even more crappy!
I am quite against being a martyr mom and have gotten great at letting the judgment and looks of glaring stink eye roll off me like water on my greasy, unwashed hair. For the record, it takes a heck of a lot for me to think any mom is a crappy mom. So long as mama keeps her children safe, fed, and warm, and loves them with all her heart, she is a fabulous mom!
How crappy am I? In the Just Add Cloth household, each day involves a crap load of mama mistakes, laziness and simply making do.
- I breastfed my son for seven months until he started losing too much weight and switched to formula.
- I breastfed my daughter for only 10 weeks before she began literally starving to death and I switched to formula.
- I work at home with no nanny or daycare. So I get to suck at my job and suck at being a mom simultaneously!
- I cloth diaper, even during horrible rashes and what could possible be an infection.
- I use disposables when I don’t plan laundry effectively and ran out of diapers.
- I let my kids eat regular food when they were too small to chew.
- I also let them try purees a few times.
- My eight month old rarely gets a real bath.
- My two year old is wearing the same clothes he wore yesterday.
- My 2.5 year old is not potty trained and shows no signs of getting there soon.
- Both of my kids have bruises from tumbling on our hard wood floors.
- I don’t run to comfort them when they do tumble.
- Sometimes they get about 200 too many kisses during any given day.
- Other days I let them scream bloody murder while I take a much needed shower.
- If the cats have been laying on the cloth diapers on the bed, I don’t rewash them.
- I also don’t freak out when the kids eat a cat-hair-tumbleweed.
- I don’t send in for the replacement parts when I think a recall is stupid.
- I use a stroller nearly every day.
- I live in the city with no yard, thereby depriving my kids of a Norman Rockwell childhood.
- I drank wine and ate chocolate while breastfeeding!
- We keep the babies in a crib in our room for over a year.
- I only remember to brush my toddler’s teeth about once a week.
- I shower with my 2.5 year old son. I figure if I still wipe his butt six times a day, he is young enough to see me naked.
- My toddler and infant play together in their room without me hovering over them.
- My toddler has painted the walls with poop because I left him unsupervised in a safe place for five minutes.
- I let my kids watch Daria, that old animated MTV show. They will be cynical Gen-X inspired teens in preschool.
- My son is UNcircumcised, not because I am necessarily morally opposed, but because his father isn’t.
- My kids love cat food. They steal Purina kibbles from the pet bowls all the time.
This is only the tip of the iceberg!
My biggest offense is that I do not think I am a crappy mom at all! I don’t play into mommy guilt. I made the decision many years ago to let go of GUILT, along with bitterness, insecurity, and other unnecessary negative emotions. I truly believe we all have control over our lives and our reactions to others. People only attack other people when they are not completely satisfied with their own lives and choices (even if they are unrelated).
If my mothering is craptastic, then so be it. I am glad to be a crappy happy mama!
Are you crappy too? Tell the world and link up!
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this is brilliant!
Thank goodness I’m not the only mom who can’t remember to brush her children’s teeth! And I haven’t even a clue as to how to go about teaching them how to do it themselves either lol! Oh there is SO much on your list I can relate to – especially that 3rd one!!!!
Fabulous! I think I need to do one of these! I second the ‘I only remember to brush my toddler’s teeth about once a week.’, and ‘I use a stroller nearly every day.’ and ‘My toddler and infant play together in their room without me hovering over them.’, among others 🙂
How about “I forget to give breastfeeding babies their Vitamin D drops” or “I forget to take my multivitamin”.
Ultimately, I agree with your definition of a crappy mother, and I think it’s wonderful tat you le go of guilt. Way to go!
Oh gosh, I hardly ever remembered to give my kids their vit D drops. Then again I also let them get plenty of sun without sunscreen so I guess that other crappy moment took care of it! haha.
Girl, I am with you here. I feel like a Crappy Mom when I lose my patience and raise my voice with my kids. I feel crappy when we use occasional disposables because I am such a cloth diaper enthusiast! I feel crappy when I let me kids watch the Simpsons, and I feel crappy lots of other times too. I am pretty hard on myself, but I then I am reminded that my kids are safe, very happy, and very loved and my husband thinks I am doing a good job raising them. Cheers!
Oh gosh. I hear you on the inappropriate cartoons. We totally let our kids watch Bobs Burgers even though I know they are probably picking up bad lines from it!
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