Breastfeeding Bloopers: Nursing in Public is for the Birds

Breastfeeding in public can be difficult, but also not nearly as big a deal as we make it.
I was a new mom with a three week old baby and really needed to get out of the house. Really, really needed it. We’ve all been there, right?

My sister came over for a walk so I packed up the stroller and off we went. My son had just eaten so I did not anticipate him screaming as soon as we reached a busy intersection. He wanted nursing and he wanted it bad. He was Jonesing for a milky fix.

One thing I never mastered was discrete nursing. I firmly believe discreet nursing is for smaller chested women who do not have overactive letdown. For me, breastfeeding involves a lot of awkward positioning and quite a bit of spray. Which I’m sure you wanted to know. (Ha) I also cannot do it with the baby in a carrier. It just doesn’t work for me. Anyway, I was not prepared to whip out a boob on this walk. And his screaming intensified. We quickly pulled the stroller up to a bench next to a small business where there wasn’t too much traffic or many people mulling about. I quickly situated the baby and tried to drape a receiving blanket over myself without much success. But, it was OK because no one should pay much attention to a woman on a bench with a baby right? Right?

It all began with one SUV slowing down and the driver staring at us. My sister cocked an eyebrow.

“That was weird. You would think no one would notice in this neighborhood.” She mused.

Pretty soon another car slowed down and pointed at us. Really? My sister and looked at each other in confusion as traffic halted. A huge line of cars were all stopped, looking and pointing in our direction. People pulled out their phones and started snapping pictures. I was, of course, completely horrified. It was a new mom nightmare! Finally, a car actually turned onto that street and pulled up to the curb.

I started sweating thinking this person was actually going to confront me. What would I say? What would I do? He walked toward us….and continued past us with a camera. We turned around and behind us were six wild turkeys waddling around. The whole time no one even noticed the nervous lady trying to breastfeed. Everyone was shocked and fascinated by wild fowl running about in the inner city. A wild animal running loose uptown is far more fascinating than an exposed boob. My sister and I burst into laughter and took our own phones out for a photo op.  After a bit, my son was satisfied and we moved on with our walk. That was nearly two years ago and we still laugh about it today.

I haven’t taken nursing in public much beyond the secluded park bench here and there and I still get nervous. However, having my first experience involve two boobs, six birds, and a whole lot of pictures certainly broke the ice! It was like a boobie paparazzi moment. So, if you think people are staring when you are breastfeeding, look behind you. There are a heck of a lot more interesting things going on in this world than a mother simply feeding her child.

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